The XX
Oh boy. Every once in a while, I hear a record for the first time and just know….
Pearl Jam.
Wu Tang Clan.
Counting Crows.
TV On The Radio.
Kanye West.
Bon Iver.
And since I heard The XX for the first time, it’s all I can listen to. You have to check them out now. VCR blew my mind, and the Crystalized solidified it. It’s brilliant. I love it. Somebody asked me to describe them and I couldn’t at first - I think I said Zero 7 meets Velvet Underground and TV on the Radio. It’s possible they weren’t influenced at all by TVOTR, but I think everyone should be so I always throw that one in.
Seriously. If you have a website to design, or a creative project you’ve been putting off - go buy this CD or download it from Emusic, turn it up until it fills the room with the hum of the speakers, and then go. I’m telling you - PLAY IT LOUD. When that bass line comes in on VCR, you’ll goose bump.
You’ll be back and you’ll be thanking me.
Kanye West and Pres. Obama
Here’s the thing. I am all for decorum, but I’m a little tired of this passive aggressive culture we have in the US. So while I think Kanye interrupting the lovely Taylor Swift was completely awful, I’m pretty glad he did it and here’s why:
He acted on what he was feeling at the time in a way that didn’t hurt anyone physically.
And he got the President to have another human moment when he referred to him as a Jackass.
Somewhere along the way, it stopped being OK for everyone to be human. How many of us said something far worse than jackass this week about someone. I know I did. I call someone a fucktard at least once every couple hours because I get irritated and that’s how I express myself. President Obama, thankfully, is not as eloquent as I am nor as skilled at making up derogatory words. But you know, Kayne felt that as an entertainer (and that this was on MTV and he was drunk) that acting that way was acceptable.
And thanks to that act, we’ve had all kinds of shit to talk about this week.
While I’m not going to rush on stage at the next school awards assembly and take the mic from some poor kid to launch into a rant about how my kid was robbed, I definitely want to stop suppressing every human urge I have for the sake of decorum.
Hear that honey….
Apple is Fashion.
As a dude, it’s hard to accessorize. You can’t wear rings and/or necklaces unless you are a rapper or an extra from Goodfellas. Unless you are gay, then you get to have a fashion ‘get out of jail free’ card that lets you wear whatever the fuck you want and no one will say anything. Or, if you live in New York City. Only in NYC can you wear a skinny jeans and a scarf year round and not be gay. Which is cool - it’s not my style anyway. But my point is, dudes miss out on all the cool shit. No jewelry, no purses (most man bags just aren’t cool enough to be an accessory,) hats are safe but you usually can’t wear them to work or on a date, and shoes really aren’t that varied unless you are one of the geeks that gets every colorway in retro Jordans and Air Max 95s.
I’m proud to say I beat that addiction, btw, and I am now clean of my Jordan addiction.
So do we as guys get to accessorize with - gadgets. Look at the explosion of tech culture. iPhone is the new Rolex. Your headphones are the new necktie. Unless your a tax accountant or work in the advertising industry, my guess is that you either don’t care about fashion or you just hate your boring ass options the way I do. So you gleefully shop at the Apple Store for the latest iPhone cover that no one has, or go to Vaja for a custom leather case that people know is one of a kind. You buy the latest headphones like Beats by Dre, or Ultimate Ears because you want to show that you take your gadget accessorizing seriously.
Chances are, you have at least one original iPod, and at least one colored iPod Nano.
Wanna no why none of the other brands can get ahead - because Apple gets it. They understand that dudes have nothing left to add to our uniform of jeans, khakis, polos and button ups.
The gas crisis has changed car culture so it’s no longer cool to tool down the road in your pimped out 69 Camaro with the 454 double carb with glass-pack exhaust upgrade that makes your American Muscle car roar. So you get stuck driving your Prius, wondering what the fuck happened, while your only option left is another pair of fucking True Religion jeans or another new case for your iPhone.
That’s why we can’t wait for the next latest and greatest device - so we can stand out again. Look - we can’t get fake boobs, we can’t wear jewelry, we can’t get red high heels, so we pray that Apple really does release the tablet so we can snap on some unique looking protection or maybe we can find a new bag to put it in that says “Yes I have the new Apple tablet in my man bag which means I am WAY more awesome than your boyfriend and his puny little Dell netbook.”
Think I’m wrong - look around the mall or campus or public transportation next time.
Classics vs. Trends
Ok, pardon my philisophical waxing for a moment.
I clearly lean towards the classics. APC jeans, standard button up shirts, aviators, and my favorite shoes in the history of the world are Stan Smiths (technically, it’s Common Projects in all white but I can’t drop $360 on a pair of all white sneakers.)
But I see kids roaming the malls looking like Kanye’s take on 80’s fashion and think, this shit is going to last about 8 seconds - then what. Grunge remix? Prep/punk? Future/hippie? The classics go through a rehash every 5 years, but the trends seem to be in a constant recycle. So if right now we’re stuck in between a recycle of classics and a recycle of trends, what’s coming?
Mad Men - I’ve been feeling for a while now, especially with the recession still hanging over us that once the smoke clears and people go back to work that they will want to go back in style. Psychologically, there will be a need to shake off the feeling and the LOOK of the recession by dumping the over-tattoo’d tees for suits. You will know this has happened when it permeates beyond Madison Avenue and the Chi-town agency crews. (Yes, it’s simply a rehash of older classics, but….well…I still think it will happen.)
Personalized - I have felt for years that the next major trend was going to be personalization. I’m seeing it in small flashes here and there with Nike ID, Indochino suits, Threadless tees, but I’m talking the individual as the designer. Personal branding, to me, was never about social media - it was always about individuals representing themselves in a unique way. What can the post-Y2K era deliver that the 50’s-90’s couldn’t? New fabrics, new lines…? No - we’re still wearing button ups, polos, jeans and khakis. Technology can make anyone a designer, the web can make anyone a brand, put it all together and you get the individual as fashion designer. Threadless is only the beginning. When kids in HS are making their own back-to-school clothes, you’ll know it’s hit.
Subtlety - I’m not as sure about this one, but I can only hope that designers like APC signal a shift away from douche-wear like Ed Hardy. For every generation, there is a Garfield tshirt trend. Ours, apparently, is giant bedazzled tattoo wear that is ridiculously overpriced and over decorated. There are so many fashion options right now that look like the clothing equivalent to doing your entire house in animal prints (rugs, chairs, couches, throw pillows, dining room accents, wall hangings ) hey 40-year-old asshole at the bar in Kansas City, I’m talking to you. I can only hope that the backlash is coming, and it’s coming in the way of subtle fashions being more in vogue that graphic barf, bedazzled fashions.
The perfect shirt
I’m convinced it doesn’t exist. My obsession has turned from finding the perfect shirt to proving that like the Yeti and Britney Spears’ sanity, the perfect shirt for men doesn’t exist. What is the perfect shirt, you ask?
Well, today’s man needs to be able to have a shirt that he can wear untucked with jeans, khakis and shorts. Not too long, not too short. It must be fitted, but not tight like the douchebags who buy tiny Abercrombie polos and walk around with their arms flared out from their sides. No, the perfect shirt must fit to the point of being invisible. If thrown in the laundry, it should come out wearable - not crisp, not wrinkled.
The perfect shirt should have a collar that when washed, doesn’t roll up like the ends of ribbon. It must be light enough to wear in summer by itself, and just heavy enough to work with an undershirt in winter (under a jacket of some kind of course. Which also means it can’t have 1970’s italian mobster length collar points.
And of course, no logos. I want it in white, light blue oxford, plaids of various shades, and classic stripes. It’s supposed to be a classic. It’s supposed to be a staple. Every guy should have 5-8 of them in their closet, and when not pressed it should make a suit casual enough to wear with some Adidas Stan Smiths. When pressed, it should look good with a skinny tie and nice loafers.
I’ve looked at the following:
Gap (loose fitting, suck ass shirts made very cheaply.)
Banana Republic (tight fitting, suck ass shirts made at the same cheap factory as Gap.)
Brooks Brothers comes close with their sport shirts, but unfortunately there is the matter of the tag on the front opening and the just too long length. Also, you can’t get the sport shirt in an oxford.
All dress shirts from all brands suck. Too long. Tags in front. Too much body material (seriously, anything bigger than a 15 1/2 neck and you need to weigh 300-400 lbs. to fill out the shirt.)
Maybe J. Crew will be the victor. I will soon visit their store for fall clothing.
Steven Alan shirts may be the only option, but at $168 they seem to be a tad exclusive to be a staple shirt. APC Jeans are staple jeans. 501s are staple jeans. Steven Alan seems to be creating staple shirts for people in the tax bracket that Democrats like to target for taxes.
Anyone got any ideas? Anything I’m missing?
Obsession Roll-up
Either I’m too lazy to make a post for each, or my ADD is really kicking in, but today seems like a good day to summarize all my current obsessions. Here are my top 10 obsessions for the month of August
- Photography. I know it was the last post, but it’s #1 and holding.
- 2010 Camaro, and new cars in general. My AC went out, so every other car looks pretty nice on the drive home. Those worthy of obsession are limited to the Audi TT Quatro, Chevy Camaro, Infiniti G35 Coupe (the G37 is just too swoopy,) Nissan 370Z (the 350 was a speedbump in great Z car designs,) and the Toyota FJ which, when it’s available in a hybrid or electric version is owned.
- New tattoo. I need something unique and I can’t figure out what I want. James Jean, where are you when I need you.
- My Love/Hate with the iPhone. Great device, shitty ass battery life. Love the touch screen, desire the Palm Pre keyboard. Love the App store, hate Apple for nixing Google Voice apps. Seriously though, if they could double/triple the battery life I would never look back.
- Apple Tablet. I think about it every day.
- The Canon 5D. I have the 50D, and I wish it was full frame every god damn day. It’s a great camera, it takes great pictures, I have fantastic glass, and I want so badly to have a full frame to work with that it makes me a tad retarded.
- Vinyl records. Why the slip to 7th? Well, a broken AC catapulted cars to the top and just about everything else on the list gets touched everyday. The vinyl, unfortunately, seems to be enjoyed less frequently right now.
- Saturdays. See #7.
- Painting. I feel the itch to paint like a frat boy feels his crabs after Spring Break. Every day I check out artists that I love for inspiration, and wait. I have wood and canvas prepped and ready for me to have a free weekend. I need a good holiday. The last time I felt the need to paint this much I created Original Analog Machine and went ape shit. I’m thinking a robot version of Where the Wild Things Are starring a boy modeled after my son.
- Web design. It feels like forever since my last 8-10 hour session launching a new website and tweaking the design. I feel the itch and have a couple great ideas that need to go live ASAP.
Photography, (photographing women specifically)
I find photography to be increasingly beautiful. I noticed it as a kid, but not until recently did I feel it was worth personal pursuit. Now, thanks to the Canon 5d and 50D, I’m downright looney tunes over taking pictures. But as cool as that neon sign is, or that long bridge with the cool lights, I want a well lit close up of a beautiful woman. I want to see a hint of sexuality, vulnerability, and breasts. I don’t want to see x rated amateur pron (sic), I want to capture that glint in every woman’s eye that crushes men under the weight of their own desires.
I realized I can’t paint this moment, or look, as well as Audrey Kawasaki but I may be able to capture it on film. I’m reading Annie Leibovitz’ book. I’m studying Flickr for inspiration. I’m playing with my camera and lenses, trying to get it right. And it will come. I will not stop until it does. There are one or two people who have the look that I must capture, but I want to have a million photos that showcase each woman’s unique soul exposing and heart stealing glare.
You’ll see.
2010 Camaro
Chevy Camaro 2010, the mobile boner.
Latest obsession. CARS. But not just any car. I’m completely gaga over the first car Chevy has let someone design in years. The 2010 Camaro is hot. It awakens in me that feeling that cars had when you were in high school and college. The desire to drive around with or without a hot chick in the passenger seat. The ability to pull up to the front door somewhere and know that someone was watching you get out. To quote our modern day genius, Paris Hilton, “it’s hot.”
Why? Because like the Audi TT, the Nissan Z, and if you are a chick the VW bug - the 2010 Camaro is one of the most well considered cars of a generation. The Ford GT was amazing, but $150 grand. I can’t afford that, and if I could, I would buy a Porsche 911. So would most people, and unfortunately for Ford the mass produced Mustang is just too….well…mass produced. I see them everywhere. But for now at least, Chevy has built a car that stands out in a good way. It doesn’t look anything like the past Camaros, which I believe were only sold at Nascar events and came with a free sleeveless jean jacket. The late 60’s Camaros were like driving around in a giant erection. The 2010 Camaro is a lot like that. Only, newer and with better gas mileage. (*We all know that is the primary concern when shopping for a modern American Muscle car.)
So. At least once a day I think about the Camaro and lust a bit. I can’t have one, but damn do I want one.
Nike’s disappearing Basketball tights
At one point, Kobe Bryant made a big fashion statement by playing games wearing full length tights and got the basketball press and fans all interested. Then the NBA shut it down, banned the tights, and the soon to be product from Nike disappeared. Similar products were planned by other companies - Adidas and Under Armour, McDavid, possibly others - but have either been remarketed as running tights or just never saw the light of day. I’m fascinated by this. The idea that a product was good enough for the biggest brand in shoes and the best player in the NBA to get on board, but for some reason was hated so much by the NBA that the product was banned.
WTF? How are full length tights different from stupid arm sleeves? Tattoos are ok, but tights are off limits? Even though Adidas is now the official equipment provide of the NBA, players are still allowed to wear socks and shoes, and I assume underwear produced by other brands. Why not tights?
I recently tried compression socks from Nike. My calves felt great. I played longer, didn’t have leg cramps that night, and there was almost no soreness that night or the next day in my lower legs. My thighs - not so lucky. So why would the NBA want to deprive me of happy legs? Why would the NBA decide to take away the ability for Nike or Adidas to market such a product on the legs of the world’s most famous basketball players?
I have to know. I’m obsessed with this. I read about it online. Customer support at Nike has no idea, and claimed that I knew more about it than they did. Which is possible, but still.
Come on Nike. If I want to look like Peter Pan playing basketball, isn’t it my right? Especially if Kobe and LeBron are going to make it cool?!
APC Jeans
APC Jeans
Yes, THE jeans. APC jeans are magic. They require commitment. A new pair of APC New Standards comes to you hard, unwashed, stiff and TIGHT. You are supposed to order them 2 sizes down from your normal size. You are supposed to wear them for 6-12 months without washing them. You are supposed to enjoy the pain. For a month, it’s like having your dick in a vice. Then they slowly release their grip.
Then they deliver denim magic.
April will mark my 6th month with my first pair. Still unwashed. Still wicked awesome. I love them. What started as tight, stiff, comical pants are now comfortable jeans that look tailored to my body (not tight anymore, just well shaped.) Are most people likely to buy a pair of jeans that are ridiculously tight and uncomfortable and wear them for 6 months without washing? Absolutely not - which means more magic for freaks like me who are willing to commit. Thanks APC, for making sure I’ll always have at least 1 thing that is unlikely to ever catch on and become a fad.
If you have ever longed for the perfect pair of jeans, or spent countless hours trying on jeans and then going home irritated, depressed, enraged…then APC, and the ridiculous process that comes with them might just be for you.
MY Apc Jeans, new and old
By the way, my pants got press. That’s how awesome I am. If you wrap yourself around my butt for 6 months, you too will get an article. Like the bearded douche from the cheap suit commercials says, “I guarantee it.”
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER.